Last year, on Thanksgiving, I wrote a reflection on the war in Ukraine that impacted my friends, family, and people close to me. I expressed gratitude for basic civilian infrastructure un-damaged by wartime bombardment.
This Thanksgiving, as I reflect on my professional and personal journey, my thoughts are imbued with a more profound sense of gratitude and empathy, significantly shaped by deep personal losses. The past year has been a challenging one, marked by the heartbreaking loss of three people close to me to cancer – my best friend, my father, and my college mentor. These losses have deepened my understanding of empathy and the importance of connections with others, teaching me lessons that resonate in every aspect of my life – from family to community involvement, cycling companions, and the workplace.
My professional journey, replete with learning and growth, often takes me back to formative experiences and early mentors. One lesson a mentor taught me remains a cornerstone of my philosophy: the true essence of a successful career lies in people and projects. What matters, he told me, is not companies: it’s the work you do, the people you work with, and the people you serve with your work. This insight, now viewed through the lens of recent personal losses, has taken on a new depth. It echoes in the empathy I bring to my work – a kindness that’s grown more profound as I’ve navigated through my grief. I now work on a project I love with people I admire and a supportive company that recognizes the fragility and preciousness of our shared time.
In 2015, during a commencement speech at the Clarkson School, I emphasized the importance of passion in projects and trust in team dynamics. These words carry a heavier weight of understanding and compassion, shaped by personal experience. Empathy in leadership – understanding and valuing each team member’s perspective – has become even more crucial to me. It’s about connecting on a deeper human level, not just in professional settings but in every interaction, whether it’s with my team, community members, or fellow cyclists.
Though marked with profound personal loss, the past year has had a positive impact on me in other ways. Aside from my professional and family lives, I am involved in my community. I was appointed a member of the East Brunswick Recreation and Parks Advisory Board. I was elected a trustee at Anshe Emeth Memorial Temple. This level of acceptance in my community kept me hopeful through the most challenging time of my life.
The support and understanding of my family and my community have been a beacon during an otherwise difficult time. Their presence has been a constant reminder of the importance of living in the moment and cherishing every interaction. This family support is reflected in how I view my team at work – a family-like environment where each member feels valued and supported, especially during challenging times. This approach has also permeated my community involvement and interactions with my cycling buddies, where empathy and connection have become even more pivotal.
Balancing these various roles while coping with personal loss has reinforced the importance of empathy as a leadership trait and a fundamental human quality. It’s about being present, listening actively, and valuing each moment and interaction. Sometimes, simply letting someone know they are heard and understood creates deeper bonds. This empathy extends beyond professional boundaries to encompass all aspects of life, emphasizing the importance of appreciating and cherishing those around us.
This Thanksgiving, my gratitude is deeply intertwined with a renewed appreciation for life and the connections we forge. The losses I’ve experienced have taught me to value each moment and every person in my life – from family and friends to colleagues and community members. It’s a reminder of the impermanence of life and the importance of making every interaction count. The blend of gratitude, empathy, and a heightened sense of living in the moment has become a guiding principle in my life, enriching my professional and personal experiences and reminding me of the preciousness of the relationships we build and maintain.
The Dulin Report 